i hate confinement

i'm stresss.......i hate confinment ...i hate everything....i tahan pantang...i hate beranak...i hate all of it ....everything i hate it..i need some support...why everyone is not support me ...why...rase mcm menyesal beranak

Finally Mia Eryna Born

Macam maner nak start on the kelahiran Mia Eryna....need to think first due too ...tgh adapt on the new life ...Mia Eryna..just want to say that mama love you so much ...and mama sangat bersyukur pada allah ...& mama miss a lot ur brother rayyan...i love you so much rayyan..whatever it..mama tak pernah pilih kasih..both of you..both of you is my precious... mama will always pray to god that ..rayyan & mia will become a good son & a good daughter to daddy and mama ok....i just can't wait to finish my confinement ...so that i can be together ..manja2...with rayyan like before..& mia eryna ..see mama dah nak start cry...i don't like to show to other people ok ..and i know that i'm a strong mother..wife & to my beloved husband honey...a lot of things you byk korban kan kat ...i sangat2 bersyukur pada tuhan...kita sebagai manusia kena always bersyukur because tuhan akan bila-bila masa tarik rezeki tuhan bagi kat kita...honey..walaupun i susah nak say to you that i love you so much..but in deep in my heart that...i will always love you so much....and i hope zuriat yg bagi kat you rayyan & mia ..and pengorbanan as a mother..hope that you jgn lupa sampai biler2..ok honey...i will always support whatever things that you do...and i trust you so much..you know me kan ...independent women hehheheh :)

love you honey

Rayyan Harris

Mia Eryna

Is this the time

Tanda sudah dtg...contraction ajer belum lagie ....ok masa utk berdoa byk2 semoga semua yer selamat .....

Induce

Baby mama tak tahu nak cakap camner..skrg nie...tomorrow is ur due but still tak ader signs kan..ader kah malam..but still mama tak mengharap..mama tired nak menharap..baby...ader lagie 2 hari sebelum tarikh yg dijangka utk induce..mama tak tahu sama ader perlu buat atau tidak..mama tak tahu sayang..mama tanya ur auntie prefer to stay natural..tak pie mama tak tahu sama ada mama larat atau tidak..mama tak tahu sayang.. Ohhh sayang please help mama ok..jgn buat mama sedih..mama tak sabar nak jumpa baby..mama tak larat sayang...dugaan yg paling hebat yg pernah mama alami...sesuatu yg berlaku pasti ader hikmah yer kan..tuhan tue maha menyayangi dan mengasihani..mama always percaya tue..cuma mama tak pasti..perlu atau tidak mama buat perkara tue...

Billboard rayyan favorite cartoon

Selama 1 weeks mama jaga rayyan..kepala otak mama pun dah stuck dgn cartoon playhouse disney..sampai pening kepala..tak aperlahh yang penting rayyan happy and tak merengek...Dekat bawah nie list favorite carta top 5 favorite carrtoon rayyan ..

Yang nie Number 1 dlm carta billboard paling dia suka...dah start lagu nie..dia dah tahu..it's PORORO TIMES..mama layan

Yang nie carta number 2nd..mickey mouse clubhouse..walaupun rayyan tak reti pronous...entah aper2 yg disebut masa mickey mouse song ...tak pie comel betul..especially biler tanya..questions..rayyan pun sebut es...= yes..hahahahah lawak betul..mcm dia join ajer show tue ..

Yang nie cart number 3rd timmy time...favourite dia jugak...kalau dgn theme song dia sure..dance tak ingat dunia

Handy manny ...pun suka jugak tak tgk mood jugaklah tgk cartoon nie..

List kat atas nie yg mama rase cartoon yg rayyan suka..tak pie overall mmg semua playhouse disney cartoon rayyan suka...

Dr Chua Clinic

This morning after bagi rayyan breakfast..honey star and milk..rayyan makan sikit oklah compare dgn a few days ago rayyan tak makan langsung...kesian rayyan..so pergi Dr Chua clinic...Dr Chua is the best dr kanak2..dia tak pernah buat kita worried...coz rayyan asyik batuk ajer masa malam2..dia batuk2..mama dia still tido..sambil letak kan vicks .baru dia lega sikit ..tak pie semalam kurang crancky sikit ...
So dr chua said..no need to worried coz batuk dia normal & tak bunyi or asthma ..ok lega sikit..dah lah situation mcm nie..sabar ajerlahh...
Biler lah adik rayyan nak pop out everyday mama tgk calendar..dah letih dah..and the most important things that adik sihat active...mama pun sihat so that during confinement and labour nanti semua yer ok..insyallah amin..

 

Rayyan cepat sihat yer..mcm kat video nie..mama pun blh rest :)

Cepat lah masa berlalu ....

I'm just bored to wait...the times comes...BORED...BORED..tak pie nanti confinement lagi bosan kan...just be patience..

Rayyan Fever ...Mama Tired

Penat yer haihhh..this week..doc bagi mc..bukan yer dpt rest..jaga rayyan coz dia demam...sabar ajerlahh dgn rengekan kan..betul spelling whatever lah..i'm just tired..cuma berdoa that dia cepat sembuh...sebelum anything happen..kesian rayyan..every night..dia tido tak lena..coz badan panas sgt..mama kena kuatkan semangat..and tak blh cepat give up..coz rayyan perlu kan mama...and baby perlu kan mama..mama tired nak jawab soalan DAH BERSALIN BELUM...I'M JUST TIRED TO ANSWER THAT QUESTIONS...rase yer this time org asyik tanya ..masa time rayyan tak ader org tanya sgt..tak kisah sgt..lagie2...kita yg dah ader experience..supposedly second time..dah tak heran sgt..kan..i don't know maybe semua org concern pasal kita...
rayyan mama berdoa that..rayyan cepat sembuh..mcm biase..happy mcm biase..now dia tgh tido..biarkan lah dia tido at least dia rest..cuma dia tak makan lunch..dah masak fish utk dia...kesian badan rayyan turun sgt coz dia tak makan ..rayyan..mama miss you a lot

No contraction ...just waiting ..dgn penuh kesabaran

rayyan ....adakah mama kejam ..

rayyan adakah mama kejam..adakah mama tak jaga rayyan rayyan sampai ..rayyan demam ...selama 2 hari daddy yg jaga rayyan...i'm don't know what to do ..daddy keep on said that semua yer my fault..dia yg buat chatting mcm tue naper dia salah kan mama ...dia tak pernah nak buat mama calm...
mama sedih rayyan..mama rase nak peluk rayyan..tak pie daddy ignore me ..keep said that bad words...mama tak tahan dgn daddy..i tak tahu nak ckp aper ..dlm sms semua ckp baik..ckp bagus..tak pie tak ader penyelesaian..what for mama ader dlm rumah nie ... ya allah tolong selamat kan keluarga kami ya allah...

kalau mama rindu ..mama tgk gambar rayyan

muahh...muah sayang rayyan lagie 3 bulan rayyan hit 2 years

sayang sgt rayyan..rayyan kekuatan mama

Monday morning .............

Dear Rayyan ....
This morning mama dgr suara rayyan dekat luar..chit chating..cute sgt...tak pie apa kan daya..mama tak berani lagi jumpa rayyan ..mesti rayyan rase mama is a bad mother..maaf kan mama rayyan..mama rase daddy pun agree dgn decision mama..daddy tak faham situation mama ... maybe dia pun suka coz rayyan ader gap dgn mama and rayyan tak ingat dgn mama ..emmm entahlahh..
rayyan ...semalam 10/4/2011 around 9.40pm++ daddy argue dgn mama ...dia ckp kenapa mama buat perangai mcm nie dah 2 hari..dia biarkan ajer perangai mama mcm nie..sedih kan..dia kata this is not mama ...entahlah rayyan mama tak tahu nak buat aper..dia kata2 daddy..
kalau lah rayyan dah big boy...mesti rayyan sajer dpt mengubati hati mama kan. ..miss sgt rayyan...hanya tuhan sahaja yg tahu ..semalam jugak almost nak masuk 3 years married this august..daddy pukul mama ader tanda merah kat tangan mama..kesian mama..kesian adik..mesti dia rasa sedih kat dlm perut mama ..mesti dia rase naper daddy pukul mama..but daddy ckp mama yg start..dear rayyan ..naper daddy selalu ckp setiap situation tue semua yer disbbkan mama..naper yer rayyan? entahlahh dugaan sgt...
Rayyan aper yg perlu mama buat..i need support rayyan..mama rase semalam punya argument tak mendatangkan aper solution ...mama rase..although daddy dah kenal masa before kahwin 4..5..6 years..and kahwin dah nak masuk 3 tahun..byk benda2 ataupun perkara2 lain yg still daddy tak faham....mama rase pun buang masa ajer daddy nak ambik tahu all this things ...oklah rayyan mama nak stop nak get ready ...miss you a lot ..

rayyan ...mama love you a lot

mama missed rayyan so much ....

i'm alone..................:(

rayyan mama miss you a lot ... but mama tak kuat rayyan..this weekend dah 2 hari mama tak tido sebilik dgn rayyan.. coz mama felt so sad ..so sad coz..baby still no sign..mama just want to be alone .. and pray to god ..that everything is ok ...biler mama lepas sembahyang baru mama rase lega sikit ...but after a few hours..mesti mesti mama rasa sedih ...coz nobody want to listen luahan hati mama..mama rase..biler mama sorang2..dekat kan diri pada tuhan..baru rase ok sikit...rayyan...mama love rayyan...and mama also love adik rayyan ..
rayyan mama terasa dekat daddy...coz daddy gelak2..and rase funny biler clothes...barang2 mama semua bawak kat bilik lagie satu ... dlm hati mesti dia suka sbb tak perlu sempit2 ...rayyan mama rase..mama akan terus mcm nie..until mama dpt sign yg mama akan deliver soon..maybe 1 week..maybe 2 weeks..rase lama sgt nak tunggu...
Rase menyesal ajer pergi checkup haritue...emmm entahlahh..ya allah ya tuhan aku aper yg perlu aku buat.. tunggu sampai next week biler ader tanda..atau pun aper ? ooohhhh ya allah ..aper nak buat..i tahulah rase sgt bingung..teramat sgt..dlm buku appoinment pun tak tulis aper2 biler next checkup ..ya allah haihhh..nak call prof azura..aiz pun tak tahu aper2 solution ...dia sibuk dgn hal sendiri dia ..kerja...laptop..tv...tak aperlah biar lah dia dgn kehidupan..tak nak kacau.. amin ...

2cm......but still no signs

i just felt so sad ....hanya tuhan sajer yg tahu ..bertanpa i risau and sedih...nobody concern about me ..i'm here alone dlm bilik nie..tido sorang...ckp sorang2..i tak tahu nak buat aper...i tak tahu macam maner supaya i tak fikir kan perkara nie...this time delivery sgt mencabar...no signs...kenapa tak mcm dulu ..mcm rayyan..i just felt so sad..down ..:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( ader kah i terlalu ckp besar..so tuhan uji mcm2 kat i ...i cuba kuat kan diri..so that org tak nampak kelemahan ..i rase nak ckp dgn somebody tapi siapa..Alllahh..mugkin Allah sahaja tempat i skrg..tadi lunch i masak utk rayyan..sup..dia suka sgt..tapi nasi tak makan...emmm tak aperlahh...kalau lah dia faham situation i sure dia akan tanya..aiz ...my husband pun tak ckp aper2..tak concern aper2... entahlahh.. my mum pun tak kisah ..dia just tanya dah ader sign ker or aper..i ckp tak ader tak sakit..asyik ckp benda yg sama..i pun jadi malu ...my sis kakngah..pun tak ckp aper..dia just tanya naper kepoh2...i pun cerita perkara sebenar..
i rase skrg nie just berdoa sahaja ...i rase i sakit next week kot..lama lagi...naper baby buat mcm nie kat mama..buat mama risau ajer..mama tak sabar nak jumpa baby..abg rayyan pun tak sabar ..ya allah ya tuhan hanya engkau sahaja tempat aku memohon ya allah..tiada lain selagi engkau sahaja ...esok monday...aper nak buat..kemas rumah pun dah tak semangat..haritue dah kemas bilik...entahlahh tak tahu nak buat aper..supaya diri nie tak fikir kan situation skrg ..tak kan nak kerja esok..menyesal buat status kat fb..sure nanti org tanya..ehhh kata dah bukak 2cm naper kerja lagi..i pun tak tahu lah nak say aper ...
Ya allah...berilah aku petunjuk satu hari nanti yg ader seperti dahulu ..amin..