Mia is not felling well

Pity mia

Dah lama tak tulis blog..skrg pun Mia dah nak masuk 7 months time flies so fast...& now suddenly mia tak sihat demam sikit...batuk..selesema complete satu set...i'm worried semalam pun tido tak lena kejap2 bangun...kesian dia hidung tersumbat tak boleh bernafas dgn ok...kejap2 bangun buat kan dia susu...pastu suruh dia tido...tak tahu today mcm maner if still tak ok lagi then kena buat gie clinic lah tak boleh postpone lah bahaya sgt

Saya sedih.............................:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Dear Rayyan...& Mia mama so sad rayyan & mia.....tak lama lagie mama anniversery dgn daddy.....mama dah plan byk benda for celebrate...but hati mama sedih rayyan..although rayyan tak faham aper yg mama lalui nie..but nie ajer cara mama boleh luahkan..kalau nak cerita kan org lain it's not good...cerita hal rumahtangga org kan berdosa... hanya Allah yg dpt menenangkan hati mama sayang rayyan & mia......especially during fasting month...itulah dugaan di bulan yang mulia..daddy sakit kan hati mama sayang...sakit yg tak tahu biler boleh sembuh...maybe today...maybe tomorrow ...maybe next year...maybe 10 years only god knows....Rayyan dlm bulan puasa nie mama selalu berdoa..supaya mama menjadi..mother yg terbaik utk rayyan & mia..mothers yg sempurna although i'm not prefect..menjadi wife yg lebih baik dari before...menjadi  perempuan yg lebih baik dari before..insyallah
Mama always berdoa that..semoga our family always dilindungi ..dah dirahmati oleh Allah....
Rayyan kalau lah rayyan dah besar..rase mcm nak cerita ajer everything to you..mcm best fren..but nvm rayyan & mia penguat hati mama...
This year anniversery gift from daddy is .....menyakitkan hati mama dia hantar email to his ex gf which is this...

From: Aizuddin Danian <aizuddin@gmail.com>
Date: August 4, 2011 4:41:01 PM GMT+08:00
To: nik zahrinawati nik zahari <nikkizahri@gmail.com>
Subject: Re:

when are you going back? so early?

On Aug 4, 2011, at 3:38 PM, nik zahrinawati nik zahari wrote:

haiya....after 22nd cannot...going back n pretty busy

On Thu, Aug 4, 2011 at 3:11 PM, Aizuddin Danian <aizuddin@gmail.com> wrote:

after the 22nd. I'm broke already this month. :)

On Aug 4, 2011, at 3:11 PM, nik zahrinawati nik zahari wrote:

when? today?

On Thu, Aug 4, 2011 at 3:04 PM, Aizuddin Danian <aizuddin@gmail.com> wrote:

even when i call you i'm sombong... :(

Wanted to ask you to have buka puasa with me. Let's go to that restaurant... what's the name of that place on the hill, we visited.

On Aug 4, 2011, at 11:41 AM, nik zahrinawati nik zahari wrote:

> sombongnya.................................................................................

sedih only god knows....how's my feelings....in my mind i already prepare what to do 
and so ...aper nak celebrate...but this :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((...

why rayyan...daddy did to me..coz mama tak give attention to him..coz i'm busy take care of you and mia...why...how do i solve this issue? by what...by become i slave?  i'm just tired lah rayyan...why he doesn't care my feelings....

Dear Rayyan,

Satu ajer mama ask from daddy...jaga lah perassan mam ...hargai lah aper yg isteri kamu telah korban kan...pengorbanan yg tidak boleh di jual dengan wang ringgi.....why daddy choose...me ...why for the first place..daddy tak choose that stupid bitch women... why.....choose mama..if she thinks i'm not a good assisstance ..motivator for daddy...supporter ...he said..i don't anything...actually i knew this things will happen..in the future...

3 years marriage ...is just a beginning... their is a lot of up down kita akan facing ....Oh god please help me...byk pengorbanan i lalui ..berkorban jiwa ...nyawa utk melahirkan rayyan & mia..pengorbanan yg tidak boleh di bayar dgn 1 MILLION DOLLAR PUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN..................

rase mcm nak cry ajer ...but dlm office...

Dating tomorrow

yeahhhhh tomorrow dating.........tak sabar...nak pergi klcc...just want to flash back our memory for the first time we meet together...heheheheheheh

HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY RAYYAN

Happy Birthday rayyan....big boy...dah besar suka sgt posing cheeky dia tue

Tired today

Dah lama tak tulis blog...mia pun dah besar 2months 2 week..soon rayyan nak masuk 2 years...time flies so fast...it been a busy -busy day..but i'm happy with my family now...rayyan + mia...my beautiful son & daughters...love you so much sayang...mama hope that you become a good kids..soleh & solehah tue yg penting...pelajarang & agama...& mama harap mama pun nak jadi mothers yg terbaik for both of you...mia my beautiful sweet girls...skrg nie mia dah pandai gelak2..tak byk ragam...minum susu main2 & then sleep..letak baby cot terus senyap...& tido...rayyan cheeky boy..asyik ckp ahhhhh milk.....ehhhhh 6 = 613 playhouse disney..tue ajer yg dia tahu biler mata dah start bukak...bosan betul....nak tgk cerita lain pun tak blh...rayyan2....tired lah today....this morning rayyan tak sihat...so dah planning bagus2...punya ingat nak pergi doctor chua....and pergi medela service center......nasib baik pergi medela service center sekejap ajer..so far service dia oklah...just kena improve lagie ...rayyan tak sihat lah batuk ajer lately nie ....

 Mia Eryna 2m3 weeks

1 year 11months

betul lah aper yg mak ckp

aiz skrg sejak dah ader mia...perangai dia berubah sgt ...dia dah tak mcm dulu lagie..betul lah aper yg mak ckp ...laki nie biler anak sorang ..perangani dia lain...biler anak dua...perangai dia lain...mmg betul lah aper yg mak ckp ....not felling well today tak larat rase yer ..tak pie i kena strong coz mia breastfeed is tough but kena kuat kan semangat ......

Sangat sedih .................................

kenapa org yang tengah pantang ..baru beranak ...kena menjaga perasaan org sekeliling yer ...adakah i nie seorang anak yang tak menghargai perasaan ibu sendiri..mil ..husband..adakah i tak bersyukur ..i selalu bersyukur pada tuhan setiap kurniaan Allah bagi..zuriat..anak rayyan harris...mia eryna..mama love you so much..mama cuba menjadi ibu yg terbaik for both of you ...dan utk menjadi isteri yang terbaik utk suami...salam..cium..i know i'm not a good wife...setiap manusia akan terlupa menjadi yg lebih terbaik termasuk i .... hari nie jugak i gaduh dgn mak ...kenapa mak tak proud tentang i ..kalau dia tak proud naper dia tak buang i dlm sungai ...atau pun gugurkan kan ajer ... mak tak pernah nak said good things to me ..always ckp i nie moody..perkara buruk ajer nampak..perkara baik semua hilang...kenapa....i tak tahu nak mengadu pada siapa...Ya allah setiap yg berlaku mesti ader hikmah yerr..aper yg berlaku skrg mesti ader sbbkan ...Mak i bangga sangat...sbb mak wanita yg cekal ...walaupun suami tak ader..mak seorang yg kuat semangat...i selalu fikir tue..tak pie kata2 mak tak pernah nak bangga ttg diri ...i sayang kan suami i ...i sedih sangat org sekeliling cucuk2 i dgn kata2 yg negatif ...i sedih sangat..kata i nie tak pandai mejaga suami .. i'm not a good menantu...naper semua i yg nampak teruk ... i felt so sad mak sendiri ckp macam tue..kat siapa lagi nak ckp baik dekat i ...mak sendiri ckp macamtue... i sedih lah ... macam i nie hidup menumpang...sedihlah ...sedih sangat
:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

i just want to go back

i tak diperlukan here..this is not my house....i felt sad sangat ....... :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Pengorbanan mothers

I miss rayyan so much...and i miss my husband ..i hope he understand what i'm going through is really is a tough time ... biler rasa macamnie ..especially during my confinement time... i rase macam nak lari2 jauh...tinggal kan benda yg sgt stress...i berdoa pada tuhan semoga semua yer jadi baik2....ya allah beri lah aku kekuatan diri ku supaya aku menjadi mothers yg kuat  ...my husband kat bawah hiraukan ..at least chit chat lah dgn i ...whether i'm ok or not..i just give birth ...sedih lah :(:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Biler lah nak habis confinment

Biler lah nak habis confinment sgt stress confinement kali nie... emmmmmmm baru 1 week..rase dah mcm 100 tahun ...

i hate confinement

i'm stresss.......i hate confinment ...i hate everything....i tahan pantang...i hate beranak...i hate all of it ....everything i hate it..i need some support...why everyone is not support me ...why...rase mcm menyesal beranak

Finally Mia Eryna Born

Macam maner nak start on the kelahiran Mia Eryna....need to think first due too ...tgh adapt on the new life ...Mia Eryna..just want to say that mama love you so much ...and mama sangat bersyukur pada allah ...& mama miss a lot ur brother rayyan...i love you so much rayyan..whatever it..mama tak pernah pilih kasih..both of you..both of you is my precious... mama will always pray to god that ..rayyan & mia will become a good son & a good daughter to daddy and mama ok....i just can't wait to finish my confinement ...so that i can be together ..manja2...with rayyan like before..& mia eryna ..see mama dah nak start cry...i don't like to show to other people ok ..and i know that i'm a strong mother..wife & to my beloved husband honey...a lot of things you byk korban kan kat ...i sangat2 bersyukur pada tuhan...kita sebagai manusia kena always bersyukur because tuhan akan bila-bila masa tarik rezeki tuhan bagi kat kita...honey..walaupun i susah nak say to you that i love you so much..but in deep in my heart that...i will always love you so much....and i hope zuriat yg bagi kat you rayyan & mia ..and pengorbanan as a mother..hope that you jgn lupa sampai biler2..ok honey...i will always support whatever things that you do...and i trust you so much..you know me kan ...independent women hehheheh :)

love you honey

Rayyan Harris

Mia Eryna

Is this the time

Tanda sudah dtg...contraction ajer belum lagie ....ok masa utk berdoa byk2 semoga semua yer selamat .....

Induce

Baby mama tak tahu nak cakap camner..skrg nie...tomorrow is ur due but still tak ader signs kan..ader kah malam..but still mama tak mengharap..mama tired nak menharap..baby...ader lagie 2 hari sebelum tarikh yg dijangka utk induce..mama tak tahu sama ader perlu buat atau tidak..mama tak tahu sayang..mama tanya ur auntie prefer to stay natural..tak pie mama tak tahu sama ada mama larat atau tidak..mama tak tahu sayang.. Ohhh sayang please help mama ok..jgn buat mama sedih..mama tak sabar nak jumpa baby..mama tak larat sayang...dugaan yg paling hebat yg pernah mama alami...sesuatu yg berlaku pasti ader hikmah yer kan..tuhan tue maha menyayangi dan mengasihani..mama always percaya tue..cuma mama tak pasti..perlu atau tidak mama buat perkara tue...

Billboard rayyan favorite cartoon

Selama 1 weeks mama jaga rayyan..kepala otak mama pun dah stuck dgn cartoon playhouse disney..sampai pening kepala..tak aperlahh yang penting rayyan happy and tak merengek...Dekat bawah nie list favorite carta top 5 favorite carrtoon rayyan ..

Yang nie Number 1 dlm carta billboard paling dia suka...dah start lagu nie..dia dah tahu..it's PORORO TIMES..mama layan

Yang nie carta number 2nd..mickey mouse clubhouse..walaupun rayyan tak reti pronous...entah aper2 yg disebut masa mickey mouse song ...tak pie comel betul..especially biler tanya..questions..rayyan pun sebut es...= yes..hahahahah lawak betul..mcm dia join ajer show tue ..

Yang nie cart number 3rd timmy time...favourite dia jugak...kalau dgn theme song dia sure..dance tak ingat dunia

Handy manny ...pun suka jugak tak tgk mood jugaklah tgk cartoon nie..

List kat atas nie yg mama rase cartoon yg rayyan suka..tak pie overall mmg semua playhouse disney cartoon rayyan suka...

Dr Chua Clinic

This morning after bagi rayyan breakfast..honey star and milk..rayyan makan sikit oklah compare dgn a few days ago rayyan tak makan langsung...kesian rayyan..so pergi Dr Chua clinic...Dr Chua is the best dr kanak2..dia tak pernah buat kita worried...coz rayyan asyik batuk ajer masa malam2..dia batuk2..mama dia still tido..sambil letak kan vicks .baru dia lega sikit ..tak pie semalam kurang crancky sikit ...
So dr chua said..no need to worried coz batuk dia normal & tak bunyi or asthma ..ok lega sikit..dah lah situation mcm nie..sabar ajerlahh...
Biler lah adik rayyan nak pop out everyday mama tgk calendar..dah letih dah..and the most important things that adik sihat active...mama pun sihat so that during confinement and labour nanti semua yer ok..insyallah amin..

 

Rayyan cepat sihat yer..mcm kat video nie..mama pun blh rest :)

Cepat lah masa berlalu ....

I'm just bored to wait...the times comes...BORED...BORED..tak pie nanti confinement lagi bosan kan...just be patience..

Rayyan Fever ...Mama Tired

Penat yer haihhh..this week..doc bagi mc..bukan yer dpt rest..jaga rayyan coz dia demam...sabar ajerlahh dgn rengekan kan..betul spelling whatever lah..i'm just tired..cuma berdoa that dia cepat sembuh...sebelum anything happen..kesian rayyan..every night..dia tido tak lena..coz badan panas sgt..mama kena kuatkan semangat..and tak blh cepat give up..coz rayyan perlu kan mama...and baby perlu kan mama..mama tired nak jawab soalan DAH BERSALIN BELUM...I'M JUST TIRED TO ANSWER THAT QUESTIONS...rase yer this time org asyik tanya ..masa time rayyan tak ader org tanya sgt..tak kisah sgt..lagie2...kita yg dah ader experience..supposedly second time..dah tak heran sgt..kan..i don't know maybe semua org concern pasal kita...
rayyan mama berdoa that..rayyan cepat sembuh..mcm biase..happy mcm biase..now dia tgh tido..biarkan lah dia tido at least dia rest..cuma dia tak makan lunch..dah masak fish utk dia...kesian badan rayyan turun sgt coz dia tak makan ..rayyan..mama miss you a lot

No contraction ...just waiting ..dgn penuh kesabaran

rayyan ....adakah mama kejam ..

rayyan adakah mama kejam..adakah mama tak jaga rayyan rayyan sampai ..rayyan demam ...selama 2 hari daddy yg jaga rayyan...i'm don't know what to do ..daddy keep on said that semua yer my fault..dia yg buat chatting mcm tue naper dia salah kan mama ...dia tak pernah nak buat mama calm...
mama sedih rayyan..mama rase nak peluk rayyan..tak pie daddy ignore me ..keep said that bad words...mama tak tahan dgn daddy..i tak tahu nak ckp aper ..dlm sms semua ckp baik..ckp bagus..tak pie tak ader penyelesaian..what for mama ader dlm rumah nie ... ya allah tolong selamat kan keluarga kami ya allah...

kalau mama rindu ..mama tgk gambar rayyan

muahh...muah sayang rayyan lagie 3 bulan rayyan hit 2 years

sayang sgt rayyan..rayyan kekuatan mama

Monday morning .............

Dear Rayyan ....
This morning mama dgr suara rayyan dekat luar..chit chating..cute sgt...tak pie apa kan daya..mama tak berani lagi jumpa rayyan ..mesti rayyan rase mama is a bad mother..maaf kan mama rayyan..mama rase daddy pun agree dgn decision mama..daddy tak faham situation mama ... maybe dia pun suka coz rayyan ader gap dgn mama and rayyan tak ingat dgn mama ..emmm entahlahh..
rayyan ...semalam 10/4/2011 around 9.40pm++ daddy argue dgn mama ...dia ckp kenapa mama buat perangai mcm nie dah 2 hari..dia biarkan ajer perangai mama mcm nie..sedih kan..dia kata this is not mama ...entahlah rayyan mama tak tahu nak buat aper..dia kata2 daddy..
kalau lah rayyan dah big boy...mesti rayyan sajer dpt mengubati hati mama kan. ..miss sgt rayyan...hanya tuhan sahaja yg tahu ..semalam jugak almost nak masuk 3 years married this august..daddy pukul mama ader tanda merah kat tangan mama..kesian mama..kesian adik..mesti dia rasa sedih kat dlm perut mama ..mesti dia rase naper daddy pukul mama..but daddy ckp mama yg start..dear rayyan ..naper daddy selalu ckp setiap situation tue semua yer disbbkan mama..naper yer rayyan? entahlahh dugaan sgt...
Rayyan aper yg perlu mama buat..i need support rayyan..mama rase semalam punya argument tak mendatangkan aper solution ...mama rase..although daddy dah kenal masa before kahwin 4..5..6 years..and kahwin dah nak masuk 3 tahun..byk benda2 ataupun perkara2 lain yg still daddy tak faham....mama rase pun buang masa ajer daddy nak ambik tahu all this things ...oklah rayyan mama nak stop nak get ready ...miss you a lot ..

rayyan ...mama love you a lot

mama missed rayyan so much ....

i'm alone..................:(

rayyan mama miss you a lot ... but mama tak kuat rayyan..this weekend dah 2 hari mama tak tido sebilik dgn rayyan.. coz mama felt so sad ..so sad coz..baby still no sign..mama just want to be alone .. and pray to god ..that everything is ok ...biler mama lepas sembahyang baru mama rase lega sikit ...but after a few hours..mesti mesti mama rasa sedih ...coz nobody want to listen luahan hati mama..mama rase..biler mama sorang2..dekat kan diri pada tuhan..baru rase ok sikit...rayyan...mama love rayyan...and mama also love adik rayyan ..
rayyan mama terasa dekat daddy...coz daddy gelak2..and rase funny biler clothes...barang2 mama semua bawak kat bilik lagie satu ... dlm hati mesti dia suka sbb tak perlu sempit2 ...rayyan mama rase..mama akan terus mcm nie..until mama dpt sign yg mama akan deliver soon..maybe 1 week..maybe 2 weeks..rase lama sgt nak tunggu...
Rase menyesal ajer pergi checkup haritue...emmm entahlahh..ya allah ya tuhan aku aper yg perlu aku buat.. tunggu sampai next week biler ader tanda..atau pun aper ? ooohhhh ya allah ..aper nak buat..i tahulah rase sgt bingung..teramat sgt..dlm buku appoinment pun tak tulis aper2 biler next checkup ..ya allah haihhh..nak call prof azura..aiz pun tak tahu aper2 solution ...dia sibuk dgn hal sendiri dia ..kerja...laptop..tv...tak aperlah biar lah dia dgn kehidupan..tak nak kacau.. amin ...

2cm......but still no signs

i just felt so sad ....hanya tuhan sajer yg tahu ..bertanpa i risau and sedih...nobody concern about me ..i'm here alone dlm bilik nie..tido sorang...ckp sorang2..i tak tahu nak buat aper...i tak tahu macam maner supaya i tak fikir kan perkara nie...this time delivery sgt mencabar...no signs...kenapa tak mcm dulu ..mcm rayyan..i just felt so sad..down ..:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( ader kah i terlalu ckp besar..so tuhan uji mcm2 kat i ...i cuba kuat kan diri..so that org tak nampak kelemahan ..i rase nak ckp dgn somebody tapi siapa..Alllahh..mugkin Allah sahaja tempat i skrg..tadi lunch i masak utk rayyan..sup..dia suka sgt..tapi nasi tak makan...emmm tak aperlahh...kalau lah dia faham situation i sure dia akan tanya..aiz ...my husband pun tak ckp aper2..tak concern aper2... entahlahh.. my mum pun tak kisah ..dia just tanya dah ader sign ker or aper..i ckp tak ader tak sakit..asyik ckp benda yg sama..i pun jadi malu ...my sis kakngah..pun tak ckp aper..dia just tanya naper kepoh2...i pun cerita perkara sebenar..
i rase skrg nie just berdoa sahaja ...i rase i sakit next week kot..lama lagi...naper baby buat mcm nie kat mama..buat mama risau ajer..mama tak sabar nak jumpa baby..abg rayyan pun tak sabar ..ya allah ya tuhan hanya engkau sahaja tempat aku memohon ya allah..tiada lain selagi engkau sahaja ...esok monday...aper nak buat..kemas rumah pun dah tak semangat..haritue dah kemas bilik...entahlahh tak tahu nak buat aper..supaya diri nie tak fikir kan situation skrg ..tak kan nak kerja esok..menyesal buat status kat fb..sure nanti org tanya..ehhh kata dah bukak 2cm naper kerja lagi..i pun tak tahu lah nak say aper ...
Ya allah...berilah aku petunjuk satu hari nanti yg ader seperti dahulu ..amin..

Setiap Hari benda yg sama .....

Lagi benda yg sama setiap hari dtg kerja...bosan betul..hari nie sgt mengantuk rayyan asyik bangun ajer lately nie...kadang2 rase nak marah ajer..and nak bap dia sian dia...tak pie rayyan mcm tahu2 ajer yg mama dia marah kat..dia kalau i tolak kaki..hehehehe sorry yer rayyan mama tak maksud mcm tue...nasib baik ader daddy yg tolong jaga..kadang2 mlm2 dia bangun buat kan susu..rayyan2 maybe dia tahu yg dia ader adik kot..tue yg perangai dia makin menjadi2...dgn nak himpit badan dia kat perut kita tue yg bangun badan semua lenguh2....tak aper maybe ader reason dia macamtue ...